Interviewed today in his operations nerve centre, Mr Salmon said "I don't mind telling you I have been very disappointed with the response to the appeal. As at last night, the funds in the appeal stood at just £25." Coincidentally this is exactly the amount donated to the appeal by Mr Salmon.

Mr Salmon added "I would have thought the need for this facility was obvious to all. Don't people know about global warming. Surely the flooding of recent weeks is a warning to us all of the dangers of complacency. I have asked the Climatology department at University College, Oughtershaw to look into this and they have simulated for me the potential effects of a rise in sea level of a mere 819 feet." (see picture, left)

Ted went on to explain that following this stark warning he had decided to take matters in hand. The plans for the lifebelt are well underway; a location has been identified for the belt and requests for quotation issued to potential suppliers. Ted is currently modifying a WWII air-raid siren and practising launching parachute flares.

Ted is also concerned that villagers may not be sufficiently physically fit to use the lifebelt. "It's no use if they start keeling over in the middle of a rescue" he stated. Ted is therefore starting a fitness group in the Institute where a strenuous programme of physical training based on Ted's experience as a PE instructor in the SAS will turn the villagers into a finely honed, super-fit response unit capable of handling any eventuality. "I will be starting the training as soon as my new leotard arrives" Ted explained.

However. this is only the first phase of Ted's ambitious plans. The second phase - currently under discussion with the RNLI - concerns the provision of an in-shore lifeboat, to be based on the village green. Ted is hard at work in his engineering centre (shed) installing a Fordson Major power unit into a standard RNLI off-shore lifeboat. Meanwhile architects are currently finalising plans for the lifeboat station. (see artists impression - left)

Ted added that the coxswain for the lifeboat has already been appointed. He is Mr E Salmon, pictured below left, during a training exercise off Scarborough. The trusty Zac will of course be Chief Engineer, and Ted is looking for volunteers for the rest of the crew. 

Given the ambitious nature of the plans, Ted is re-launching the appeal. "I know I can rely on the good people of Buckden to give generously" he said, adding that he hoped that the rest of the parish would also support the appeal as they could potentially benefit. "Mind you," said Ted " if the sea level got as high as Greenfield we would probably have to  relocate the Lifeboat Station"

Donations to the appeal should be sent to:

Coxswain E Salmon
Director of Fundraising and Rescue Operations
Buckden Barn
Buckden
Nr. Skipton
N.Yorks BD23 5JA

Cheques should be made payable to "Buckden Lifebelt Appeal". Credit card donations are also welcome.