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From Mr Terry Newman                                                                            15/12/2008

Dear Sir,

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS COMPETITION

I take a dim view of Christmas lights.

Sincerely,

Terry Newman

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From Mr David Lusted                                                                             01/08/2008

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From Mr David Lusted                                                                             22/07/2008

Dear Music Lovers

Fresh from another theatrical soiree  {curses, can't find 'e' acute} at Harrogate Theatre, to see a master class performance of "Dick Barton, Special Agent", I was reminded of one Mr. Giacomo Puccini. composer of  'Nessun Dorma' .Scholars now concur that it's true meaning translates as "Stress and Trauma" - only realised recently when sung with a thick Germanic accent .

Well, Teach, you must have gone through the pain threshold of much 'Stress and Trauma' yourself in melding the impressive ensemble to give of their best. If the Good Lord was having a 'night in' in his Church, he was blessed with marvellous entertainment.

Even before the belated start - belated for the best of all reasons, as the resident bouncers - Messer's PV and TB - struggled to allow the connoisseurs 'in' (and selected others 'out') - I was struck by the truly professional demeanour of the choir: their appearance was one of crispness, confidence and happiness.   Whether this had been influenced by the insertion of two fingers in the mouth of the Conductor as she tried to stretch her cheeks and grin at her choristers at the same time can only be a cause of conjecture.

Choice of the Vicar to start things off was inspirational, although I suppose he does come with the building.  His 'Pinocchio' was a most welcome guest and so the programme began.  "You raise me up" should become your very own theme tune and could not have been bettered; it 'set' the tone for the whole evening and I was not surprised that you chose it for your encore .

The whole of the first half - indeed the whole evenings' programme - was most ambitious with an excellent balance of 'hims' and 'hers', ancient and modern, demonstrating their undoubted skills.  If the choir continues to grow in its present manner, there will be no room for an audience and they will just have to perform for themselves.  Not only would that be a great shame and loss for us non participants, but it would be extremely selfish of them.. They must guard against this at all costs; personally, I have great faith in their leader, Miss Whiplash de Vetch.

How lovely to hear a flute being introduced into the occasion - well played, Debbie; more, please - and the other new instrumental, the guitar excellently strummed by Peter - another 'must' for future productions. 

So what did we have?  A well balanced concert in terms of content, very appropriately divided by the intermission; a concert that allowed a wide opportunity to focus on individual artistes {one should not really single out any one soloist, for they were all excellent, but how I wanted to utter a (muted) cheer for  Mr. Wilf Jowsey ~ and sensed many present felt the same} .

It was most noticeable that the Male section of the choir had been much strengthened since Christmas; well done, the lads - albeit that some hold bus passes!  Just a thought for the future, could they consider forming a Barber Shop Quartet?

It was particularly ingenious to introduce 'audience participation' in Item Six: 'Ode to Joy' - and what a pleasure to both hear and understand the words, so often mutilated at the commencement of mere football matches!  Perhaps such active inclusions could become a regular feature; I overheard several comments along those lines both at the Interval and later.  I do, however, realise this type of inclusion is more appropriate to the Christmas format.

All in all, '11 out of 10'.  Loved it - and so did all behind Teach's back; any who didn't will have to answer to Messrs PV and TB in due course.

It was a team effort and all played their part.  The whole enterprise would not have come about without the drive and dedication of 'The Few'; they - and we - know who they are, so 'thank you' Anne, Josie, John, Peter and Tim for a memorable night.  As a community, we owe you a lot.

D. L.

TDMA  {Tone deaf music aficionado -  and no threat to Wilf … or any other talented chorister}

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From Mr Terry Newman                                                               23/03/08

Dear Sir,

OUR LADY OF BUCKDEN

It is surprising that Steve Hounsham (letters 7 March) should have been left for so long without a reply to his question. Personally I have a good excuse. Much of my time is now taken up with my new hobby of collecting coloured wheelie-bins.

The history of Our Lady of Buckden is a valuable piece of scholarship on the part of Mr Hounsham. I believe also that Lady Crompton-Stansfield may have had a distinguished nephew, Dennis Crompton, who played both cricket and football for England. However, I would take issue with Mr Hounsham’s reference to our High Street as the Coal Bunker.

The by-road to the rear of Buckden House was indeed once Buckden High Street. Clearly it is less busy since the construction of the Buckden by-pass that now separates Bradford Without from the Vegetable Patch, aka Buckden Newtown. Attempts to regenerate Middle Buckden in recent years have failed, most recently with the rejected bid for a super casino. Hopefully the proposed application for a chairlift and associated engine house for the painless ascent of Buckden Pike will meet with more success. The business development prospects with hot dog franchises en route to the Pike should swing things this time.

As to the crucial question of renewing the title ‘Our Lady’ I would suggest that one of the ballet dancers would be quite unsuitable, unless of course she had been ‘Our Bearded Lady’ Anyway, we’ve already got a sheriff!

Sincerely,

Terry Newman
 

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From Bill & Mary                                                                          15/03/08

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From Steve Hounsham, West Winds, Upper Buckden                    07/03/08

I am arriving late to the debate about Upper, Middle and Lower Buckden, I know, but I
think I may have a solution to the current social conflict in the village.

I realise that some villagers feel blighted by where they live. Speaking as a resident of
Upper Buckden – or Higher Buckden as we instruct our customers to call it – I
nonetheless feel it is a shame the village is dividing into enclaves .

Recently, while doing some research into village history for information boards in the
tearooms, the answer to the problem of social stigma caused by location came to me.
And it also opens up opportunities for a return to firm local government in Buckden.

We’ve all heard of Lady Elizabeth Crompton-Stansfield. She was Buckden’s last Lady
of the Manor and lived in Buckden House in the 1920s and 30s. She had a reputation
for being fair but firm. In fact, she ruled the village with something of an iron fist. Many
of her staff were frightened of her and discipline in the village was exemplary. As in
any society built on fear, Buckden was clearly better for it. Lady Elizabeth owned most
of the village, controlling how different parts of it were used. For example, the current
site of Dalegarth was her kitchen garden and Buckden Court her stables.

Therefore, what better way to draw boundaries in the village than based on Our Lady’s
own geography, instead of the rather unkind labels that have now come into use? In
this way we could put a stop to Upper Buckdenites looking down on Middle
Buckdenites, and Middle Buckdenites knocking back Lower Buckdenites. Everything
would be fair.

Of course, we cannot be sure where everything was located in Lady Elizabeth’s day,
but we can make reasonable assumptions based on what we know about that period
and Our Lady herself. I would like to propose the following demarcation, which would
respect sensitivities about upper, middle and lower:

* Buckden Court to become known as the Stables
* Dalegarth to become known as the Vegetable Patch
* The back lanes to the rear of Buckden House to become known as the Coal Bunker
* The area now disparagingly referred to as Lower Buckden to become known as the Tradesmen’s Privy
* The cottages set apart on the wrong side of the main road, down towards the river, to become known as the Punishment Sheds
* The pretty core of the village up behind the Buck, including West Winds, to become known as the Summer Gardens

That will do for a start. Other areas, or individual buildings, can now take their name
from other facilities suspected to be part of the old estate, such as the Servants’
Quarters, the Slaughter House, the Asylum and Our Lady’s Rifle Range.

Surely everyone is happy now?

One further move could restore peace in the village once and for all. Reinstate the
position of Lady of the Manor! Elections could be held once a year for the post, which
could be open to all, men or women. ‘Our Lady’ would be given sweeping
administrative, judicial and ceremonial powers. One only has to look at Starbotton to
see how firm leadership from the Lady of the Manor there has produced a strong
village community based on the principles of respect and doing as you are told.

No doubt there would be many contenders for the job but it seems fitting that the
inaugural new Buckden Lady of the Manor should be one of the ballet dancers from
the Christmas show. Would others agree?

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From Mr Phil. Borman                         30/10/07                  

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From Mr David Lusted                                28/10/07

The Buckden concert on Saturday carried more anxiety than I cared for.  The audience were wonderful in their understanding reaction to the news that Grandfatherhood was extremely imminent - in fatc, more so than I could have imagined!   My daughter-in-law entered hospital around the start of act 3 (1st half) i.e. 8 pm and was delivered of a 7lb 4oz son about the end of my 'turn'!  Quick work.  Mother, father, son - still known as 'Bump' - and Grandparents all thrilled, proud, relieved and doing well. 

I do not regard this as the setting of a precedent; the pressure of such an implication is too much to contemplate. 

But a sincere 'thank you' to all, both on the night and since, for all the good wishes so generously given to Sue and I. 

The picture shows Roz (age a secret), Edward (16 months) and 'Bump' - 15 hours! 

David

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From Mr Lucas van der Drift                        07/08/2007

Dear Sir,

Holland is a busy and crowded place. Pretty flat, too. In July 2005, my family (wife, two daughters) and I spent two weeks in Buckden, in Dalegarth Cottage 1. Last year, I took my father (73) to Buckden. This summer, my family and I came back again. Susan and David Lusted are excellent hosts. One day in Buckden and we feel totally relaxed and at home. Your countryside is pretty amazing and offers us - keen walkers - everything we want.

I understand that the community spirit in Buckden is great. If you ever need someone to teach you - all villagers - the finer aspects of the Dutch language, let me know. We will emigrate immediately.

Lucas van der Drift,
Heerhugowaard,
The Netherlands

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From Mr Richard Barlow                        03/08/2007

Dear Sir

Natur(ist) Notes.

On a recent and all too rare warm evening I was inveigled, by my nephew who has been visiting, into a late night dip in the Beck (don't worry fellow residents we went well out of sight). That would have been one for the paparazzi of Buckden Aloha! and certainly a photo of a resident as you have never seen him before (I hope - and I do promise to get some bedroom curtains one day).

The purpose of my letter is not a warning or a promise of repeat performances of the escapade. After all as the REM song tells us night swimming deserves a quiet night and September is coming soon.

No, the purpose of the letter is to say that glow worms were still shining in the Ghyll which is something worth seeing as there are not too many places where they can be found and it was quite late in the year to see them. By the way, has anyone seen any hummingbird hawk moths
this year? They have been here several years running lately but I haven't seen one yet this year.

"Aloha!" is an interesting addition to the web site but to avoid confusion with a more intellectual publication with a similar name (only the punctuation is different) why not call it "Nar then!". Is there room for a rival "All Reet" magazine or would that be too much of a good thing.

Richard Barlow

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From Mr David Lusted                        01/08/2007

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From Mr. David Lusted                        05/03/2007

A Miscellany of Matters: (Wilf, take note)

A tasty Quiz Night resulted in the near unanimous vote to extend the 'Jacob's Join' theme of these evenings for the foreseeable future. Yum, yum.

The generous support for these nights has resulted - to date - in donations to the Yorkshire Air Ambulance totalling just over £650. Brilliant.

But, saving arguably the best to last, I'm confident that much anticipated news will shortly be confirmed with the announcement that Ted has won a place in the nation's 2012 Olympic bid. The actual athletic event has yet to be decided; originally it was felt that 100m was his best hope. Progress is being monitored. His attitude that 'the sky's the limit' made Assessors think that he was aiming for the High Jump. Now, even thoughts of the Decathlon beckon. Undercover observers have seen him excel at Synchronised Aerobics (under Rosemary Connolly, with commendable encouragement from Margaret), Darts, Pool and Dominoes. Six activities mastered; only four more to go. Where might his talents lead? There was a rumour concerning Tractor Tipping, but that has yet to be confirmed.

And, alongside Ted's personal successes, must not be overlooked the distinct possibility that one or more of 'Ted's Babes' could yet join him in Olympian aspirations. Mr. Motivator could do the same for You. Just see the 'before' and 'after' proof - stunning evidence photographed at a secret training session (in the Village Hall on Tuesdays at 6 pm, entrance 50p - all welcome). The camera never lies!

D. L.

Member of Ted's Tuesday Youth Academy (aged 67)

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From Mr. Terry  Newman                     28/02/2007

Dear Sir,

PRIVILEGED BRATS

We would surely all wish to give BRATS exactly what they deserve (Karen & Tom Jones, 18 Feb) but the definitive map of Buckden district boundaries cannot be completed prior to the resolution of some minor border disputes, notably the apparent claim of Buckden New Town, aka Dalegarth, to be a part of Middle Buckden (Mr David Lusted, 18 Jan).

For the record, Middle Buckden is that area accessed and solely accessed by road using the old High Street. Thus its urban boundaries are defined by the east wall of the district of Bradford Without and by the junctions of the High Street with the B6160 to the south and with the access road to the Buck Inn to the north.

Regrettably there is a vociferous campaign in Middle Buckden for independence from the Union of Buckden Districts, while remaining loyal to the Crown. It is argued that a strong economy would result from the proceeds of the council tax currently extorted by Craven DC and also from the introduction of traffic congestion charges for the High Street (quad bikes exempt). The precedent advanced is that of Bradford Without which already has de facto self-rule and a watchtower at its north gate to control border crossings.

Sadly then although passports are not required at present there is a prospect of future 2-hour delays for security checks when entering Middle Buckden. Asylum seekers will be swiftly disabused of the notion that Middle Buckden is one large mental asylum.

Thankfully these radical plans for Middle Buckden are likely to founder on the unavailability of Mr Ted Salmon to administer the border control system. It is understood that he is currently occupied in presenting a season of Rosemary Clooney videos at the Institute on Tuesday nights for the benefit of Buckden’s 2012 Olympics hopefuls.

Sincerely,

Terry Newman

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From Karen & Tom Jones                    18/02/2007

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From Carolyn Quillfeldt                        28/01/2007

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From Mr. Terry  Newman                     24/01/2007

Dear Sir, 

PASSING THE BUCK 

The phrase ‘passing the buck’ has been attributed to the men of Upper Buckden. It originates from the claim “I was just passing the Buck”; meaning of course, “I was delayed on my way home”. Modern usage has corrupted the earlier sense to emphasize the laying of responsibility upon others. Mr Chalky Whyte (22 January) has done just this. 

The definitive map showing the various sectors of the village of Buckden is currently out of print but clearly the terms Lower, Middle and Upper Buckden apply only to the village as defined by the highway signs and not to the Parish as a whole. The behavioural characteristics of the village people are perhaps sufficiently revealing to allow us to forego the geographical details at this stage. 

Lower Buckden (renamed from Bottom Buckden in Victorian times in order not to offend sensibilities) never fully recovered from its disappointment when the iron horse did not arrive in the village after the stable had already been built. In the absence of promised prosperity, the monetary unit in Lower Buckden remained the moleskin until recently when there was conversion to pounds sterling. Mains electricity came late to Buckden as a whole but the people of Lower Buckden remain touchingly in awe of the experience and remain naively entranced by the electric light bulb, which they worship at Christmas. 

Upper Buckden, lying to the north of Buckden Beck, represents the trade and industry sector of the village and was once the home of all three of the village pubs. It has been said that the streets of Upper Buckden were paved with gold but to judge from the potholes this resource has now been fully mined. The psychological burdens of excess of wealth and of alcohol have engendered a perception in both Lower and Middle Buckden of eccentricity in the people of Upper Buckden. This has been reinforced by reliable reports of them hurling themselves from a great height into Buckden Beck. 

In contrast the people of Middle Buckden are generally impoverished but sane. The evidence of this is that they cannot be relied upon to buy a round when ‘passing the Buck’. They are all however, fair of face, intelligent and modest. 

Finally, I regret to advise Mrs Jane Way (20 January) that Long Barn House is not at an elevation to qualify as Higher Buckden and is too remote from the stable of the iron horse to be in Lower Buckden. She lives of course in Far Buckden, as do several other worthies. I’m thinking of retiring there myself to disentangle myself from any outcry following this contribution. 

Sincerely 

Terry Newman

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From Mr. Chalky Whyte                        22/01/2007

Dear Sir

May I congratulate "The Villagers" for an excellent turn out on Sunday 19th Jan to support the New Proprietors at The Buck Inn. It's great to see a community spirit once again restored to our village and "My Favourite Inn" being taken out of a very dark period. It was as if someone had switched a light on.

Which leads me to my next question.

During the evening many of Buckden's residents (who wish to remain anonymous) asked me if I could define LOWER,  MIDDLE & UPPER BUCKDEN.

I could not.

So to avoid any further misunderstandings, could someone shed some light on this matter so that during any future inter village activities or events we would know which "villagers" were representing which part of Buckden.

As Chairman of BURP I wish them Julie, Peter & Alf every success for the future

Chalky Whyte

Opening Night at The Buck:

Whether or not our new hosts, Julie, Peter and Alf, regarded themselves as the answer to anyone's prayer, they certainly answered mine! They were most welcoming tonight and I'm delighted to think that we, as a village, have our pub back - and in good hands - once more. I wish them every success.

Sue & I, a trim Tim and young Peter V. enjoyed a happy hour at the bar - let's hope it's the start of a wider village trend.

A bonus is that we can lay Ted to rest. What rumours he has spawned! Take the one about threatening "to punch Gordon's lights out." Hopefully a rumour is all it was - but then we're talking of Lower Buckden! Today, Middle Buckden has come alive. Hooray.

Yours, in anticipation

David Lusted
'Dalegarth'
Middle Buckden

Dear Sir,

As elected Chairman of BURP (Buckden Upper Residents Party) I feel I have to comment on the article that is displayed on your website "STOP PRESS Christmas Lights Contest Result"

So the gauntlet has been thrown down by the current holder of Best Christmas Lights in Buckden 2006 Congratulations to Mr Salmon (Salmo Salar Sebago) on winning this prestigious award and his very kind gesture of donating the monies toward the Buckden Life Belt Appeal. (What happened to the whisky?) Mr Salmon is clearly following in the tradition of people who live in Buckden Barn during the festive period by blinding people as they come into our wonderful village for 4 weeks of the year.

Was this not the same practice by previous Buckden resident Jim Monkfish (Lophius Piscatorius).

If I could make a suggestion to the residents of Lower, Middle and Upper Buckden that they either protect their eyesight on the approach into the village from the South or they could buy their Christmas bulbs from the same retailer as a former Professor/Doctor/Lord who claimed a stake on our once proud Inn to elevate further global warming and protecting our wonderful world from more harm.

So bring on Christmas 2007 and let battle commence and I look forward to unfolding the banner for the 2007 Buckden Lights Winner in Upper Buckden 

Chairman BURP

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From Mrs Janey Giles                         11/01/2007

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From Mr Terry Newman                        10/01/2007

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: THE VIEW FROM MIDDLE BUCKDEN

At the January meeting of the Middle Buckden Resident’s Association dismay was expressed about the increasing tensions between the good folk of Lower and Upper Buckden, as evidenced by the trading of insults over Christmas lights. It was agreed that these people should be reminded that it was Middle Buckden that held the village together.

The Chairperson confirmed that domestic decorative lighting was indeed classified as a statutory nuisance under the Clean Neighbourhoods and Environment Act 2005 and that clarification was also being sought as to whether Messrs Salmon and Kilvington were operating in accordance with EU Emissions Trading Directive. There was, however, no truth in the rumour that many of the thousands of visitors to the Lower Buckden display had subsequently suffered radiation sickness.

Mr Salmon did receive the thanks of the meeting in anticipation of his donation of £25 towards the Buckden Lifeboat Appeal (not, as previously reported, ‘life belt’) for which a further £24975 is still required.

However, there were high hopes for a successful outcome from the Whist Drive planned for March.

The meeting closed on a sombre note as the Chairperson promised to send condolences to the family of the unfortunate soul pictured on the village web site floundering in Buckden Beck, and to ask the local Council to remove all residual body parts as a matter of urgency.

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From Mr John Cowpe                            9/01/2007